10/29/2005 03:52:00 PM
alone* in the rain;
I am really feeling lonely right now and i'm beginning to think too much agains. Been having scary dreams every night, i dunno why. Too stressed? How can it be when i have a partner to share the workload with me right? Dunno leh, i think i worry alot... Then because our final project product need to hand in at December which is two months from now, i don't know whether enough time to do or not, cos some functions really very difficult to do... Then my partner tell me got time de...just like doing three projects like that. Quite true ba...hope got time...
Haiz, now caught between many problems...project problems ba...lol... Heng ah, its not personal problems, if not tou tong liao le.
Talking about problems, yesterday my third aunt was at my grandma's place for lunch as well. Then after lunch just went up to the living room join her and my grandma for a chat lor... Then she asked me how leh, my biao di have gf liao. Hahas. Somemore he younger than me got gf liao...wah, you ben shi...LOL. He only sec 4 this year leh. Then she ask me i got bf or not?! I said no lah... Then she say am i bluffing or not... What the...how come everyone thinks i'm bluffing them de ah. This type of thing need to bluff de -.-". Then i reply her say that all the guys i know all very crappy one la... Everytime i only like to "scold" and say them only...ahaha...no la, kidding. But dunno why leh, all very nice to bully de...hahas. Hope no guys read my blog else they will kill me sia...shh~ Come to think of it again, if guys are not crappy, they won't be called guys right? LOL. Ok, conclusion, guys must be crappy. HAHA. I even think i'm getting crappy with the influence of guys sometimes =x. Ok, enough crappy talk. BLEAHs.
I'm dying of boredom here! Haiz...no siblings is like that de...but sometimes being alone also nice...no one to fight with you for things, can do whatever i like! Argh, that Alphonsus taking so long to reply me! I wanna sleep liaos...
10/29/2005 12:38:00 AM
alone* in the rain;
Last night, chatted with Alphonsus with project and stuffs and ended up crapping...LOLs. Then i just anyhow say, ask him to come earlier la, cos he never once early de. Then as usual la, he tell me his dunno answer...hahas. He said he very pig one...ahaha...so nvm, i knew he would be late again de...i xi guan liao la... Ok, so today, i reached school around 9.03am like that. Just sat down only, then Alphonsus arrived le?!!! Eh...something's not quite right leh...thought he always late de...how come today super early sia... Or he just wanna prove to me he can come early one...ahaha. Think just today only...LOL. Then i made a remark say he very early today hor, he never reply me, he just smile smile only -.-". Then went for refresher lecture le... The lecture is quite long today, 2 lectures together. Stupid room, freaking cold -.-". After lecture, realised have a few mistakes... Then went back to the room discuss some thingy. Then the administrator generate sales report need the calendar thingy ma...hahas, think of it very funny sia. Can actually implement month, week, and day one, but we thought week not possible cos we thinking of drop-down list and we thought with the calendar the user cannot select a week ma. Then explore abit at VB, yuan lai ke yi de, just have to change something only. Then i was thinking, orhs, so easy ah...LOLs, then think until so complicated...hahas. Ok, next its the browser thingy. Alphonsus suddenly ask me single screen 800x600 is how wide. I just say its when we open our browser window that screen lor...then he said "is it?", no meh...i thought so ma...hahas. Omg, ask me so "funny" question sia. =/ I saw his logout time, 3.49pm. So early...he ask someone help him sign in ma...7.49am sign in sia...wahs...so good right? After lunch, help him look at his toolbar problem...very wierd one, i thought very easy to solve de...but then dunno what happen, all those thing he open cannot be seen de leh...then i tried all sorts of ways also cannot... Then the funny thing is moving the toolbar thingy, i move one click can liao, he dunno how to move...lols. Haha, his lappy don't like him! LOL! Then i thought he will leave quite early one la, about 4.30pm like that, but then today he stay until 5.05pm like that then he left. Then he help someone logout ma, he need to change to npstd account and logout de leh, very funny de. Then i say since he is using his own account, just close the window after he use his account, then login other people account, he say cannot...LOL...got some problem liao... His lappy really alot of problem...hahas. It was my logout time at 5.05pm, so i just logout and we left together. Just reached home, haven't even sat down yet, mum reached home le?! Haiz, how come everyone so early today ah...something not quite right here leh... Hmms, i was thinking of going to school to start doing the project... Anyway at home, i can't get motivation of doing anything leh, need people look at me do de then i will do things... No inspiration also, so many things to distract me. TV, my bed...lols. See first ba, see can get my friends' company or not...i think she working ba...hahas...
10/26/2005 06:25:00 PM
alone* in the rain;
Last night, after a dream, i just couldn't fall asleep, dunno why. I think i do the project thingys everyday, even my dream is about the project leh...haiz... Ok, back to my dream. I just remembered part of it, but i think its my fault bahs. My partner got scolded cos my supervisor found out he never did anything?! Then i tried to explain to my supervisor he got do things, but my supervisor don't wanna listen...so sad... Then the punishment for my partner was to stay back until 12am midnight... I know its abit unrealistic bah, especially the stay back part. After that i woke up le... Feeling abit guilty...then i couldn't get back to sleep. Tossed and turn, until almost morning le, then dunno when i fell asleep... Haiz...until now i still remember this horrible dream, hope it won't come true...just hope its really just a dream... Lunch time, went to Bukit Panjang plaza. Went to the library borrowed books on dreamweaver and ASP.NET which i think i might find it useful. Then while going to the kopitiam to buy my lunch, i saw someone look very alike Honghao!!! Don't know whether its him or not leh, or maybe not...so i just walked passed him, then while going down the escalator, i looked up again, really look like Honghao sia... Hmm, tonight not going over my grandma's place for dinner cos they got new maid, still don't know how to cook maybe... So, what's for dinner? I'm getting sick and tired of food outside...its all the same, rice, noodles, western...all the same, nothing special de... Tml's Monday again...sian...need to go to school again, stuck in that freaking cold room again -.-". How i wish i don't have to stay there to do project work sia. Why can't i work in the square, or library, or anywhere la, as long as its not in that freaking cold room, i'm fine, lols. Alphonsus agreed with me also...its really super cold lor, that room. And if you change the fan speed to 2 or 1, it'll be hot and so stuffy...
10/23/2005 03:56:00 PM
alone* in the rain;
17 October, Monday, i had to go to school as usual. Reached quite early. Lecture haven't start yet so went to the room put my things first and login. Then the lecturer come le...omg, its my supervisor sia. Alphonsus die liao lah, he late again -.-". Hahas. So just went for the refresher lecture. Its about the use case diagram and description. Then very funny sia, my friend got mixed up AFD and use case diagram. Almost 10am liao, Alphonsus finally reached. Haiz...i xi guan liao lah... Then my supervisor in the room mah, he suddenly call out Alphonsus name sia...lols. Ok, then after that plot survey results... Ate lunch, then continue doing work...until 5.01pm, then i logout. Then as usual, my partner don't know why leh, always like rushing for time like that de...so he just left first...don't know everytime meeting who de. Cannot wait awhile de...i'm also going to leave liao mah =p. Haiz...nvm... But, everytime i reach the bus-stop he still there de...hahas...
19 October, Wednesday, as usual reach school quite early. Then got refresher lecture. This time is Mr Mani. Heng not my supervisor...hahas. Then i think Alphonsus thought is our supervisor, reach school very early hor? LOL. Actually not early liao loh, 9.30am liao. But its counted early liao, earliest of all. I also surprised sia. No wonder later that day, it rained...ahahaha. Ok lah, joking only. I think he cannot come early one leh...haiz... Nvm, so continued doing work. Tried to do the stupid state chart thingy, but fed up lah, don't know how to do leh... So after that switched to do storyboard. Then Alphonsus say he wanna add things inside the storyboard, the description part, so i said ok. After that discussed some other thingys, then he suddenly say about the report thingy. Then i say better not ask our supervisor too much cos we are assessed on our independency also. Then he ask about report need to do what lah, how to write the format all these, then suddenly talk about VIVA 0.0. Wah, he think so far liao... Scare me sia... Then i told him, we haven't reach so far yet, relac...LOL. This time not i kan chong, is him hor...hahas.
Yesterday, i think i crap with Alphonsus the whole day...hahas, actually i think its because i got nothing better to do... Very boring leh...do the project, must relax abit...hahas. But i think most of the time is talk about the project thingy bahs. Then i was designing the company logo mah, then i showed him. I wanted something original, so i created the graphics myself. He laughed at the logo sia...actually i also think quite funny lah... My logo cute cute one de...yeah! Not final one bahs, if got better idea, maybe will change it.
Later at night, Lixin messaged me on MSN, talk crap -.-". Ahahas, ok lah, anyway i quite bored also. Then after that Kelly, ask me on IS enrollment. Today, i messaged Lay Kuan, cos i'm really feeling super bored liao...gonna die of boredom soon. Then after Kelly messaged me, do IS enrollment for her. Haiz, Lay Kuan also ask me do sia, later i still must check for her got other slot or not... Very funny sia, everytime pple ask me do de?! =x Nvm, i just do lor...
Looking forward to school reopen, i can have a get-together with my so-called "crappy" friends. Hee. To me, they are crappy enough le =).
10/21/2005 06:33:00 PM
alone* in the rain;
The days passes so fast, gonna be week 4 of FYP le. 16 more weeks to go. Monday, other than tabulating survey results i dunno what to do le. Hope Alphonsus doesn't ask me what to do =x. I would really be tongue-tied. I was chatting with Jennifer, then Jennifer told me Alphonsus is those shy shy type de... I was wondering, "guys would be shy de?" Hahas, i've always thought only girls are shy =p. Maybe i haven't known enough guys...lols. And one thing, someone told me that guys and girls are the same, but i've always thought of them differently. That someone told me that whatever guys do, girls can as well... Perhaps from young i've already started hated guys that's why. I shall leak a little secret here. In primary school, i think i was only primary 1 or 2 then. Got this guy, sitting in the same group as me somemore (last time we sat in groups, colour groups, red, blue, yellow, blah, blah...) He bullied me always! Its the real type of bully ok! He took my water bottle, took my ruler, whatever things he can take, he take -.-". So, from then on, my thinking is like, "i hate guys!!!, I'm never never gonna make any guy friends at all!" Other than those guys who would auto talk to me de, i seldom approach guys de...even until now, cos i still fear this type of thing would happen, although i'm so old le... As time goes by, and as i get older, i slowly realised there are really nice guys around. In secondary school, hmm, i met one bahs, although in the beginning he like to "say" me, but then after that, we were in the same course, then there was once we took the same elective, and i asked him for help. He helped readily. Aww, so nice~ really thankful, otherwise i think i wouldn't have survived the assignment That's when my thinking for guys change. Poly days passes by, that's when i met more guys, most of em, really helpful, although i think they ask more help from me, but when i ask them for help, they really helped... Hahas, i just think nice guys are hard to come by... And only until now, i'm finally coming to accept guys and girls are the same...LOL. Issn't abit too slow? I know, i know... Maybe that's because why i haven't found a bf. My thinking stopped me mah...ahahas. Ok, crap =p. But i tell you, it issn't easy finding someone you really like. Maybe that someone i like already has a gf, or maybe that someone i like doesn't like me...aha, imaginative thinking eh? Bleahs. Actually i've got someone i like, but then, yah, i'm gonna repeat what i've just said, maybe that someone already has a gf, or maybe that someone just doesn't like me? Hahas. Ok, enough bf, gf talk. My friends especially like this topic, i really dunno why. Spare me please! How many times have i said i haven't got a bf liao. Still say i bluff =x. Ahh, i'm missing my long time no see friend again le...LOL. The hello kitty paper from the capsule thingy still at my home wor~ Everytime i see that, remind me of her and her capsule thingy craze...Ahahas. Hope we can catch up really soon. Miss ya! =p
10/15/2005 03:38:00 PM
alone* in the rain;
This time i'm really sick =x. Thanks to Alphonsus -.-". He always blows his nose and seemed to be having a flu when i'm sitting beside him -.-". And me, can say weakling lah, so unlucky, i also caught the virus le, but i ended up catching a cold. Arghh. Tuesday night was actually sick le, but the next day, which is Wednesday, still not so bad, at least my nose issn't block. Come Wednesday night, i know i'm sick already -.-". Its been ages since i was sick. I hate to fall sick, and i wouldn't go to see the doctor unless i'm really super sick. I just hate to swallow pills =x. Now, i'm feeling really horrible. Runny nose, sore throat, and my head is heavy. I just don't feel like doing anything. Just feel very sian... Did nothing much today except for refinements of the ER Diagram and UML Class Diagram thingys. Then now doing the tabulating of survey results. Actually i'm just preparing the tables only. Only next week then intend to tabulate. Oh ya, lunch yesterday with Diana, talked about primary school life, then i said i was from Nan Hua Primary mahs. Then she said i know of a guy called Martin Sim? I remembered him lor!!! He's the one who asked me that super funny question... I remembered i was only primary 4 then. One day, he called me up, just to ask, "Pamela, you like me is it?". I was shocked for a moment lor. Then i quickly said no, then put down quickly. Scared sia... First time got guy ask this type of wierd wierd question de... I will never forget... Indeed quite a few familar faces i saw were from my primary school. I even met my long lost primary school friend here, Wang Jiawen! Ahaha... Currently in love with Guang Liang's Tong Hua and Ocean's Gu Dan Bei Ban Qiu. Its really nice when played on piano and it just keeps getting nicer each time i play it. Hmm, maybe i shall upload on my lappy and hear myself play. But still, its not perfect, sighs~ All of Ocean's songs in his new album Rainbow are nice! I like all of em! Especially the first song, "ting ni tan gang qing", if i didn't remember the song name wrongly. Oh yeah, Jay's Qing Tian opening is also nice, cos i can play it...lols, but the chorous doesn't sound nice when played on piano leh. Nice only when played with one hand. Nice english songs, those "screaming" ones that i appreciate (i seldom appreciate those songs, cos too noisy le...lols, but these i list here are okay) are Simple Plan Welcome To My Life and Green Day's Boulevard Of Broken Dreams. The lyrics simply rhyme, nice... My all time favourite are westlife's songs, most of em =). Got other nice english songs to intro mahs? I seldom listen to english songs de =x. Ok, enough song talk. Lets see, what am i going to do tommorow? No one ask me out...my best pal cum long time no see friend...(lols) is working...haiz...then my another best pal still in China, went back for her hols, so good... Nvm, school reopen can crap with them! Someone talk to me online! I'm dying of boredom soon! I really admire my friends who have siblings and they say i'm the only child so good... Good meh? Good in a sense no one to fight with you things, other than that i don't see any advantages leh. Ok, think i better stop, otherwise this would become a crappy entry! =p
10/13/2005 11:00:00 PM
alone* in the rain;
Today reached quite early bahs, 2 minutes before 9am. Hehe. So logged on at 8.58am. Then there's lecture again. After that went back to the class continue doing our stuffs for the project. Then, Diana (i think that's her name if i'm not wrong) sat beside me. Asked me what am i gonna use to do my e-commerce website, i said the VB.NET web application. Then she say she is doing mobile application de... Not long after received an sms from Alphonsus. As usual he is late again lah. Never once early de leh. I think if he reach school early hor, it will rain very heavily that day...ahaha... Okok, joke only =p, i do project till very stress, now i must relax here... Nvm, he asked me a "very funny" question, whether is there any teacher in the class?! Then i just replied said no and then ask him why. His reply also "very funny"... Tell me he is at square. LOL. Okay... Then not long after my supervisor come liao. Lucky never ask me much things, its actually deal with other student matters de. Then because i email him say why my ipop system no project title de, then he say must submit the project outline at neverland there... Then he told me to tell Alphonsus do the same also... That's all. When i told Alphonsus this, haha, his reaction, very funny. Then he ask me what time our supervisor come in, what he asked and so on. Then i assured him its nothing de lah. So "sad" sia, my partner never pei me today...LOL! Haha, kidding lah, actually he told me he has something on so i ask him to go first lor. Later like the other time like that. Then maybe this time is his gf leh...so cannot be late mah...haha. Anyway, i'm gonna logout soon le. Time check: 4.58pm, yeah, time to log out! So, i quickly logged out and quickly left. Its freaking cold in that room lah. If only i don't have to stay in that freaking cold room to do our work... But what if someone came to check on us and i'm not there? I'd be in deep trouble lor...lols. Mum came back and i asked her for the survey results. Finally she brought back the questionnaires le. Time to tabulate results...
10/12/2005 05:57:00 PM
alone* in the rain;
Todays' Monday, my working day, need to report to school. Went to school at 9am as usual. Then as usual, refresher lecture...wah, good sia, still have step by step guidance to help you in your project. Hee =). Then as usual lah, Alphonsus still haven't reach yet leh...he always late de -.-". But then he good lah, ask people to sign in for him at 7am -.-". If can, i also want leh...but don't want lah, i good girl...ahahaha...*evil laughs* Was working halfway, and i was using battery. Battery almost flat le, somemore the place i sit no more power source le, so went to sit with my Alphonsus since no one sitting beside him. Then continue doing the project. Made a few changes especially the use case. ER diagram also modified cos we did wrongly... Lunch time... Had lunch at canteen 1. The school's really quiet during the hols. Some of the stalls in the canteen are also closed =(. Ok, so after lunch, continue doing work... I analysed the ER diagram...and decided to improve it. So i decided to list all the entites and attributes first, keeping in mind what are entites and attributes, constantly referring to the DB TB. After that, i set out drawing the ER diagram le. Initially it was tough. But, i tried to figure it out and did it step by step. In the end, still quite okay lah. Almost wanna give up liao...but then i know if i give up then no result mah... Argh, and the thought of doing somemore BCEs because of additional use cases -.-". Drawn so many BCEs liao, sick and tired of it le...can i not do it anymore?! Ahh, wanna cry liao...sobs, sobs... And, omg, haha, my partner like very stressed sia... Shouldn't have sat beside him...lols. He tired also don't dare to sleep sia =x. Very funny... And i really must say sorry and thank you to him... Sorry because he rushing for time but yet wait until 5.30pm because i can only log out at 5.30pm, thank you because he actually can leave at 3++pm since he log on at 7am, but he stayed until 5.30pm. Rushing for time can tell me mah...then can leave early lor...aiyo, he hor...lols, dunno what to say... Now back at home and here taking a breather! Facing problems, or should i say family problems bahs. I'm like stuck in the middle and i can't voice out my thoughts, cos elders like to say this phrase alot, "da ren de shi, xiao hai bu yao guan..." Ok lah, me still a little child here, what i say also no use. What if, the more i say, the worse it becomes =x. I'm feeling quite vexed bcos, you know, they "fight" then, you can't do anything and just listen on to what they say... Quite fan lor... Nvm, i don't know how to put it... I may seem happy but i'm not... Its not the project matters, its just this problem... *wishing someone could make me smile**how i wish there's a shoulder i could lay on**how i wish there's someone who would listen to me**how i wish i could rant all my unhappiness***i wish** ***all these are just wishes, would they ever come true???***
10/10/2005 10:24:00 PM
alone* in the rain;
Its been so long already. Finally, FYP starts on 26 September 2005. Actually i was not looking forward to this day cos i ended up doing in-house project. I didn't knew what i was supposed to do at all. Went for the day 1 briefing then after that we were brought to a room and we found a place to sit. We have to sit at that same place everyday until the in-house project ends -.-". Then my supervisor ask me and his other student to discuss the project. Introduced abit. His name? Alphonsus... Unique name eh. I've never come across this name before... I think its like 1:1000 among all the people. So rare...haha. First thing he asked was, whether i mind having to do a joint project. Then i say what's the project about. His other student then showed me...its an e-commerce website on mobile phones! Hmm, interesting!!! Then i read through his TOR and proposal. Then my supervisor say he got another project by the admin office or another project proposed by my mentor de if i do not want that project. So i was thinking, the other two project is individual de, why not do joint project better? So i agreed to the joint project. Then our supervisor gave us alot of suggestions for our project...so good...
So, i just looked through the TOR Alphonsus did. Now, since its joint project have to add in the personal work description. We discussed abit, then i say i help him improve the TOR... Couldn't do much on the first day cos i didn't bring my lappy at all. Then went home improved TOR all those thingys. Finally done on wednesday. Wednesday, start to do the AFD. Then, my partner ask me what to do, so i just said maybe can do the survey to gather user requirements. Haha, think i'm too focused with what i'm doing le... My partner kanna "stressed". When we were leaving, signing out, Alphonsus told me don't so stress, just starting only...LOLS! I looked stress meh?! Hmms...
Then the following week, which is this week, Monday, did use-case diagram and descriptions. After that, Wednesday, the BCE... Dunno who ask me not to do the BCE ah, if i do will kill me -.-". So i very ting hua de, i don't do lor...i do ER diagram. Then Alphonsus let me check the BCE he did. He very wierd one, he do liao i still must check for him de -.-". Hahas. Become like teacher checking students' work. LOLs. Hehe, no lah, actually he no confidence of what he did...aha... So nvm, i just check. I see the first BCE he do only, wierd wierd liao. I stared at it for a long long time...... Then i draw again, cos i know something wrong le. And omg, subsequent ones i need to re-draw also...hahas... Nvm... Then i just explained to him where he gone wrong in the drawing... Whole day was doing BCE... Yucks. Kinda getting sick of it liao... Can this be over soon?! About 5pm, i'm getting kinda restless le...don't feel like doing it liao leh. Reached home i'm like half dead... But then still need to do it...
So far, this week ended like that...hahas. Heng ah, luckily didn't go for internship, somemore individual, if not worse! Now still got someone to ask and help me...good good...
More diagrams to do...urghh... I wanna give up already...sobs, sobs. Anyone willing to give me the inspiration to carry on??? That motivative spirit of mine is dying out soon, just don't have that motivation already...
10/08/2005 06:18:00 PM
alone* in the rain;
