Another week is going to end soon. Had lunch at 12pm, cos my friends hungry le, then all wanna have lunch, so the four of us, Me, Lay Kuan, Kelly and Jennifer headed to canteen 3. After lunch i say i want to go to the computer shop to see how much they sell the external hard disk. Headed there then i asked them whether they sell external hdd or not. They say stock haven't arrive. Holiday until now so long le, still haven't arrive... Then i ask them when they stock will arrive, they say don't know, cos their boss haven't order?! So nvm, then just left and went to co-op supermarket, cos Jennifer wanna buy somethings. After that went back to class le.
11/26/2005 10:28:00 PM
alone* in the rain;
Ok, shall blog about it... Its monday today, and as usual, i have to go to school for my FYP. Reached school, realised wireless was down again. By the time the wireless was up, time check: 9:36am. I signed in. I could only log out at 5:36pm. That stupid room, all the power source dunno disappeared to where le... Everytime my battery flat, i must go search for power source de... Then sometimes, the power source no power de! Fed-up. So, the best place to sit is beside Alphonsus. Confirm got power source there de...somemore so many plugs there. He clever, choose that place to sit... I stupid la, that time when i sit there only got 2 plugs there, now dunno disappeared till where le =x. Lunch time, went to meet Kelly. Haiz, Lay Kuan went home le. Very sad leh... Tears almost roll down my cheeks, when i heard she went home le... Hahas, i'm just being sarcastic. Bleahs =p. Then Kelly told me something. Actually i sorta guessed and i knew it long ago. Cos that guy always look for her. So only today then she tell me she got boy friend. I wasn't shocked at all, cos i was prepared le. Happy for her, but at the same time, i feel abit sad for myself. All my friends, or should i say most of them have boy friends le. Now, what i cannot take it is that even my closest closest friend got a boy friend and i haven't even got one ever before! Yea, i haven't even started a relationship before, much less have that type of feeling of liking to a guy. Really wierd right? Its been 19 years already. Most people would at least have a relationship once... What does this show? Wo mei you ren yao...nobody likes me...so sad. But i know this type of things cannot rush de...but sometimes i really wished there's at least someone there to be my pillar... I'm feeling jealous, envious. Especially everytime when i see couples together, the more i have that feeling... Striken by reality, well, i can't hide. But, i wish to run away from it... Well, actually i like someone, but i don't know how to know him better... I think its my fear for guys ba... Guys and girls are different. When i'm with girls, i tend to say anything and everything that comes to my mind. I can crap with them, joke with them and say anything that comes to my mind. But when i'm with guys, dunno why lei, will feel tongue tied at times de... Only with those guys that i'm closer with then can crap ba...hahas. Well, they're just different, but both are human beings right? LOL. My friend told me because i treat guys and girls differently, it'd be very hard for me to give myself a chance to understand guys better. I did give myself a chance lei, but i never feel anything only ma...LOL. I think it all boils down to one fact: my fear for guys. Hey, why am i still so afraid of them. That incident happened so long ago le. Someone tell me not be afraid of guys lei... Talking about guys, my team mate is a guy...haha! Hah, sometimes really cannot stand him de... I know why i cannot find someone i like liao, cos my thinking is always: "I cannot stand them!". LOL. This afternoon was helping Kelly to take out her two pin plug ma, then i tried to pull it out, but no matter how hard i tried, i cannot pull it out...hahas, so i was there struggling. Then he help me pull out, say i never eat rice, in chinese. Haiz...he bad lor... I keep quiet...dun wan say anything...wanna cry liao...lol. Haiz...i know i no strength la...no need to say till like that ma...hahas, nvm nvm... Then, talking to him, he won't answer one lei... Even Jennifer agreed with me... That time she talk to him, he never answer her de =x. Must call him two times then got response de... So sometimes i lazy to talk to him, i wait for him talk to me better. Cos talk to him waste my energy ma, must repeat twice de. LOL! Ok la, crap =x. Just logged on to MEL, oh, i belong to a module group! T23. Two people only. Alphonsus and Me! LOL. I think they group all the pupils in FYP ba. I found it under communication --> group pages. I dunno whether i want to go back to school tommorow lei. No one pei me...so sad. If i go, i just want someone to do work together with me ba... Haiz, if i ask Alphonsus, he sure dun want de... Then my friends have lessons... Hmm, see how ba... I really wish to go to school though, cos i'll be super bored at home. Just the 4 walls staring at me, and so many temptations... I can't do my work! Current feeling now: thinking too much*
11/21/2005 08:06:00 PM
alone* in the rain;
This is what my birth month means... MARCH* Attractive personality* Affectionate* Shy and reserved* Secretive* Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic* Loves peace and serenity* Sensitive to others* Loves to serve others* Not easily angered* Trustworthy* Appreciative and returns kindness* Observant and assess others* Revengeful* Loves to dream and fantasize* Loves travelling* Loves attention* Hasty decisions in choosing partners* Loves home decors* Musically talented* Loves special things* Moody Hey, its quite true for most of them...lol.
11/18/2005 10:37:00 AM
alone* in the rain;
Haiz.. Its gonna be week 9 next week. Haven't even started with the database...got some compatibility problems...stupid beta version software!!! Now Alphon (hah, my friend's name super long and complicated, so i just cut short, spell short form can liao...=p) lappy need to reformat cos his one got problem liao...the .NET framework 2.0 lah... actually initially he got problem already, then he uninstall reinstall worse =x. Then cos i also installed the wrong database software, which is also beta version, and i got 2 .NET framework 2.0 versions. My supervisor say that this database software not compatable with the VS 2005. Last time he asked us install the database software from the internet one lor, then he said he recommend that one somemore... Never tell us not compatible with VS 2005!!! Now uninstall very ma fan lor...must be very careful, uninstall wrongly only, everything cannot use. Scary right??? I see Alphon's lappy like that i dun even dare uninstall liao. What if something happen? Must reformat com... Reformat still nvm lor... Waste my time lor...later not enough time liao... So...i guess i have to use my mummy's lappy...borrow hers. Somemore hers is the property of the school de...so i cannot how install thingy... Just hope can work!!! I don't want anything to go wrong again...
Btw, was chatting with Alphon yesterday. Then he confirmed with me the international delivery thingy... Then i said we were still doing it, cos of the "idea" he suggested last time. Then i was thinking of just integrate it, since its still possible. And, a website should reach out to people from other countries as well, so why not? Then i dunno leh, maybe i sounded abit too defensive... He ask me to relax -.-". Ok la, actually i know the reason myself why also... Then i told him the reason... Dunno why leh, i'm extra protective of myself against guys... I scared i'm bullied again ma... Although it happend like so long ago, around primary 1 or 2... Two different guys, i forever remember them! Haiz...this incident forever leave a scar in my memory... I got this fear, or should i say phobia... Argh...i dunno lah... I must come to like and appreciate guys! Haha...crap... Hey, but maybe guys now more mature ba... I feel that they are more...haha, got "you(1) muo(4) gan(3)". LOL! Like to crap alot one lor...dunno why leh. Kanna influenced by my friends too much. Recently i also start to crap liao...LOL. Haha, but quite fun lah... Ok, back to the topic...i told him my reason was that i afraid guys will bully me again and i very afraid of guys le... Then he ask me be careful of my dad cos he is also a guy?! -.-". He really very crappy one lor -.-"". Actually this one i know lah... Then he said he was afraid of me cos...i will blog all these happenings de... Btw, i got one very big question here...how he know i blog?!!! I never tell him wor... Hmm, very wierd lor...
Haiz...slowly get to know Alphonsus le...realised he is ...... Eh...better not say here, later he see how...then he "kill" me...hahas. Ok la, jk... Haha, a nice guy, with fake quietness loh...lols, cos at first i thought he was quiet one lor...turned out fake one...can crap so much de... Sometimes super "cute" one leh. Like today, i thought he went for those talks ma, then he come back, and just nice, my friend called me asked me go SMU talk, he said he also going, then i ask him why not stay there, still come back... You know what he told me??? He said he scared someone steal his lappy -.-". Very cute leh. Omg, i tell him won't lah! If anyone would steal, it'd be me...ahaha...ok, just kidding. But i was sitting beside his place at that time, cos my lappy no bat le, need to charge. That stupid room, my power source at my place disappear, don't know who take it away!!! Anyway, he is a good partner, really...... Compared to other guys, i think he is abit better ba...otherwise, i think by now i very fed-up liao lor... When i was told i am going to do a team project with a guy, i was like, "oh no!, not again, guys are !@#$%", heh, cos i thought guys very slack de, they won't do work!!! The good thing i find in him is that, if he has nothing to do, he ask me for thing to do?!!! Nothing to do also complain one leh...very funny hor? Omg, it took me 8 weeks to accept him as a friend...to get really comfortable with him...now can even get crappy with him...LOL, quite fun la. Then he also like to promote handphone alot de, cos he is selling handphone at his brother's shop...LOL. Just yesterday, Kelly was using her phone ma, then he saw it, ask how much she bought it for...of cos more ex ba since bought it from outside, then he said how much he is selling...hahas... Shhh~ don't let him see this...i comment alot hor... This my only place to say what i think ma... If i say so much "rubbish" to pple, think they won't listen to me de...so sad ="(. Oh ya, and that expression he gave me yesterday after explaining to me the review thingy...haiz...so bad lor...i know i slow ma... Sorry ah, my friends when explaining thing to me all need to go extra mile de...must explain more than once then i understand... But i'm so glad i got such patient friends... 6pm le, they need to lock the room, so i have to leave the room, wait at the square for Kelly and Jennifer. I got nothing to do, so i just see Alphonsus surfing website...i was bored lah... Alphonsus was surfing golden village website, he told me long time never watch movie le...lols. Then if its so, for me its been ages since i went to the cinema watch movie, since sec 2 lor. Then i tell him not worth it go watch movie nowadays in cinema cos its expensive lor, close to $10 on weekends leh... Weekdays also not worth it lor. Almost $7.00 i think? I say why not buy DVD go home and watch better. Then he say don't have the sound effect... Haha, then i say nvm, cos i got home theater system at home, so doesn't matter ma...LOL. I also asked about the online booking system...hahas, i thought have to pay the extra $0.50, just $0.50 through credit card... Then was asking him after the movie Doom, whether is it a nice show... He heard wrongly, thought that i watched already, and i said its nice... Actually i meant the game, cos i like the game... Then he say such boyish stuff i also like...... Cannot ma?!!! Haiz...girls must do girley stuff all the time??? LOL. Haha, i maybe quiet, but don't judge me by what you see in me...bleahs... Today, i intend to get the Visual Studio 2005 installed in my the other com. Was installing halfway, until the 3rd component which is Visual Studio 2005, there is error -.-". What error 1304?!!! Telling me to verify whether i have permission rights or something... I'm in administrator account lor...should have access ma!!! Fed-up... I tried a few times cannot, then i went to school. Anyway i'm having lunch in school as well and meeting Kelly and Jennifer ma. Reached school, saw Kelly and Jennifer already at square there. Then they told me Alphonsus reached le, went up support centre. Then i just say we have lunch first then go support centre find him... So, was having lunch... Then, i received a phone call from Alphonsus, he said he already sent his laptop to MEL. Then he left school le...wah, so fast...LOL. Hahas, my friend overheard my conversation with him then they say he so bad, never stay back look for me... Then i say nvm la, i know he won't wait de...he not so good one... If he's so good, will have heavy rain that day again lor... God too touched by his actions liao...LOL! Ok, i'm crapping again...... Well, nvm nvm, he really very bad...lols. Sourced for help. First stop went to support centre. The staff there, hopeless... So very fed-up! Nvm, plan B... Jennifer told me Mr Tan installed VS 2005 beta version before. So maybe can ask him for help ba. But, went to call him, he's not around! So i just left an email, hope he would reply and get back to me so that i can meet him tommorow. Then i wanted to join school wireless network cos my the other lappy haven't configured to join. So i tried to detect the wireless network...no NPNet de! So wierd... Then i add the SSID thingy, also cannot work one... Nvm, tommorow ask my friend... Wasted my day today in school, luckily i got my best buddies to pei me...thanks... Went to convention centre bazzar, i saw them selling external HDD which i'm looking for. 40GB at $109? Should be quite worth it ba, i was thinking whether or not to buy. Then the thumb drive also very cheap...but i enough thumb drives liao la... I only want external HDD. Reached home at 5pm. Super tired. Die la, these few days after i reach home i'm very tired. I don't even feel like doing anything =x. Ok, this is a very crappy entry...i know... No where to say what i think so i just write it out here... Yeah, feeling much better after writing out my thoughts...lol.
11/17/2005 04:38:00 PM
alone* in the rain;
I'm not gonna be lonely anymore! Since school reopen, i feel happier...hahas. Cos i can meet up with my bestest pals everyday! Well, not everyday, but at least on the days which i have to go to school. Endless stuff to talk about. But they always aim me, cos i aim them everytime, ha! ...poor me...lol.
Wednesday, Kelly, Lay Kuan and Nicole came to find me. How come the number of people looking for me increasing liao huh? LOL. After that Jennifer also came. Then cos Kelly wanna look for our mentor check whether her name is in the attendence list for PI, so i agreed and then left with her to go to Blk 31, 8th floor. I went back to the room, then i heard Nicole say someone looking for me, or say something about me, then i just asked Lay Kuan and Jennifer what happened. Jennifer suddenly say, "sir, Pamela is back..." Cos the teacher still there ma, scare me, i faster go back to my place and sit. Got to know later that she is actually telling Alphonsus. So he was looking for me -.-". Scare me, i thought the teacher is looking for me! Ha...At night, was online. Alphon messaged me on msn ask me how's the project. Still at the interface part... I must get this stupid system error file solved! Cannot be always there de ma... I think i know where the error lies, but is it safe to modify the system files? Sighs~ Alphon has been telling me he's afraid of our project... Very contagious, i'm beginning to feel afraid again... Peer pressure! He said i was giving him peer pressure. I wonder if its the other way round instead, or we both give each other peer pressure. =( I don't know its a good thing or bad thing, but then i'm starting to feel stressed again. I got the feeling we can't complete the whole system, especially the administrator part. Haiz, no matter what, we must aim to do well... Final sem le......its the last lap! Jia you, jia you, jia you! Time passes super fast, just like a bullet train, i'm gonna be graduating... To say truthfully, i don't wanna graduate. Its at Ngee Ann where i really 'grow' up. Learned lots of stuff from many people. Perhaps they are all older than me, and they went through more in life. I don't want to leave my best pals i've known since year 1. I'm afraid i'd forget them, or they'd forget me... I don't want this to happen. But, life has to go on... So sad... I've been using the piano as my stress reliever these days...haiz... At least, after playing some pieces, i feel better. I also find myself listening to Wu Yue Tian songs which i don't like last time, cos too noisy le...but dunno why now i like noisy noisy songs leh... After i listened to them, i will feel better. Oh yeah, i finally found 5566 hao jiu bu jian album songs. Not all the songs are nice. I personally find "crying in the rain" a nice song, with a nice rhythem. The lyrics are quite meaningful too. Untitled by Simple Plan is also nice...i especially like the rhythem of the song alot! I chanced upon this song while listening to songs on radioblog.com. Hope i can play the piece on the piano... Haiz...i wanna cry, i wanna scream!!! Someone hear my rants can? My feelings: Bored to death, yet angry, yet frustrated...yet cluelss to solve the problems, yet stupid, yet......the list goes on... Stupid Visual Studio... Only my com has this problem?! If its so...i don't know what i did to deserve this. Someone 'entertain' me. Don't say those "funny jokes" can liao. I cannot stand it...hahas. I wonder, why my friends like to say those funny, crappy and lame jokes one leh... Wah, cannot take it, i will laugh until i suffer from stomach pain...LOL. Someone tag my tagboard! Its been dormant for sometime liao... So sad, no one tag ='(. All people who read my blog must tag! Ahahaha!
11/11/2005 04:39:00 PM
alone* in the rain;
Finally, school started on 31 October. I think first week of school for my friends really slack leh, cos got 2 holidays in a week. Good for them lor. Good for me also, i can get to meet my friends everytime. Monday, reached school, was trying to sign attendence through the online system. Stupid school wireless down lor... Somemore they only allow us sign attendence until 10am, if you want sign later than 10am cannot liao, considered late le... So i tried and tried...haiz...passed 10am liao lor, i thought just try my luck see whether still can sign in or not. Really cannot liao...haiz...nvm. Alphonsus also cannot sign in ma...hahahas...i'm not alone! Bleahs...crap la... Then just told our supervisor we cannot sign in... So actually we can go home one, since counted late liao, but nvm lah, just stayed on... Then installed the SQL Express 2005 from the website. It require the .NET 2.0 framework to be installed seperately. I installed finish le, but then Alphonsus one got problem...i also dunno what error is that. So nvm, i just went for lunch first, cos Lay Kuan called me, ask me go Atrium eat sandwitch again -.-". So, headed to atrium, to find Kelly and Lay Kuan already there. Found a place to sit down, then bought our food. Then chatted a little, after lunch Lay Kuan left le cos she need to work later at 5.30pm. Left me and Kelly. Was talking about my friend, Chun Yeong, then he suddenly appeared right in-front of me. Hahas. Ok, after that Kelly and I headed to my class le, cos she still have time before next lesson. Then let her check some things on my com, she wants to see who is in her class...LOL. Alphonsus came back from lunch not long after...then Kelly say "hi" to him... So they really knew each other...lols. Kelly told me they knew each other in sem 1. The world is really very small... After my friend left, i tried all sorts of ways to solve the problem on Alphonsus lappy, but still failed. So in the end, i fed-up. I suggested one very super "good" idea...ahaha... Go to the support center and ask the people there...lols. Otherwise what's the support center for? Hahas. Okay, so we made our way up there. I have sentiments that there might be alot of people since its the first day of school... But, it turned out okay, not as many people as i thought. Asked for help, then finally got to know the problem. He didn't install service pack 2...the support staff there said that the software might need sp2 as a requirement... At the same time, we asked where to collect the VS 2005 beta version. Its at the resource center. Before leaving the support center, i got a call from Kelly, saying her lesson ended already?! So fast? Ok, so i just met her at Blk 27 Level 6, since i'm going there to collect the VS 2005 beta version software. After that went down to the 1st floor classroom again to continue with work for awhile. Then Alphonsus dl his sp2. After that Kelly rush me go for the briefing...hahas... I thought we were early, but, wah, the year 2s all very ting hua leh, most of them came...cos most of them were year 2s... Its a year 2 cum year 3 briefing. If i knew, i shouldn't have went, waste my time, like nothing de, cater for year 2 students only. Jennifer joined us much later... After that went home with them. Reached home around 6pm. Alphonsus messaged me on MSN. I thought he was at home already, but then he said he was still in school? Hah, the service pack 2 really take super long to dl... Tuesday is a public holiday. Kanna forced by my parents go walk treetop walk at MacRitchie. I don't know what's the actual distance, but i know i walked alot alot. Half dead liao lor... Just very tired... Then came back, got a terrible stomach ache...i even feel like vommiting. I reckon its food poisoning... After that, was just too drained to do any other things. My brain just stopped working. Then i just slept... Around 4pm, woke up, continued with my work...till about 6pm. Bathe, then went out ate sushi at Lay Kuan's working place, but she not working today leh...haiz...such a pity...
11/04/2005 06:40:00 PM
alone* in the rain;
