Ok, shall blog about it...
Its monday today, and as usual, i have to go to school for my FYP. Reached school, realised wireless was down again. By the time the wireless was up, time check: 9:36am. I signed in. I could only log out at 5:36pm.
That stupid room, all the power source dunno disappeared to where le... Everytime my battery flat, i must go search for power source de... Then sometimes, the power source no power de! Fed-up. So, the best place to sit is beside Alphonsus. Confirm got power source there de...somemore so many plugs there. He clever, choose that place to sit... I stupid la, that time when i sit there only got 2 plugs there, now dunno disappeared till where le =x.
Lunch time, went to meet Kelly. Haiz, Lay Kuan went home le. Very sad leh... Tears almost roll down my cheeks, when i heard she went home le... Hahas, i'm just being sarcastic. Bleahs =p. Then Kelly told me something. Actually i sorta guessed and i knew it long ago. Cos that guy always look for her. So only today then she tell me she got boy friend. I wasn't shocked at all, cos i was prepared le. Happy for her, but at the same time, i feel abit sad for myself. All my friends, or should i say most of them have boy friends le. Now, what i cannot take it is that even my closest closest friend got a boy friend and i haven't even got one ever before! Yea, i haven't even started a relationship before, much less have that type of feeling of liking to a guy. Really wierd right? Its been 19 years already. Most people would at least have a relationship once... What does this show? Wo mei you ren yao...nobody likes me...so sad. But i know this type of things cannot rush de...but sometimes i really wished there's at least someone there to be my pillar... I'm feeling jealous, envious. Especially everytime when i see couples together, the more i have that feeling... Striken by reality, well, i can't hide. But, i wish to run away from it...
Well, actually i like someone, but i don't know how to know him better... I think its my fear for guys ba... Guys and girls are different. When i'm with girls, i tend to say anything and everything that comes to my mind. I can crap with them, joke with them and say anything that comes to my mind. But when i'm with guys, dunno why lei, will feel tongue tied at times de... Only with those guys that i'm closer with then can crap ba...hahas. Well, they're just different, but both are human beings right? LOL. My friend told me because i treat guys and girls differently, it'd be very hard for me to give myself a chance to understand guys better. I did give myself a chance lei, but i never feel anything only ma...LOL. I think it all boils down to one fact: my fear for guys. Hey, why am i still so afraid of them. That incident happened so long ago le. Someone tell me not be afraid of guys lei...
Talking about guys, my team mate is a guy...haha! Hah, sometimes really cannot stand him de... I know why i cannot find someone i like liao, cos my thinking is always: "I cannot stand them!". LOL. This afternoon was helping Kelly to take out her two pin plug ma, then i tried to pull it out, but no matter how hard i tried, i cannot pull it out...hahas, so i was there struggling. Then he help me pull out, say i never eat rice, in chinese. Haiz...he bad lor... I keep quiet...dun wan say anything...wanna cry liao...lol. Haiz...i know i no strength la...no need to say till like that ma...hahas, nvm nvm...
Then, talking to him, he won't answer one lei... Even Jennifer agreed with me... That time she talk to him, he never answer her de =x. Must call him two times then got response de... So sometimes i lazy to talk to him, i wait for him talk to me better. Cos talk to him waste my energy ma, must repeat twice de. LOL! Ok la, crap =x.
Just logged on to MEL, oh, i belong to a module group! T23. Two people only. Alphonsus and Me! LOL. I think they group all the pupils in FYP ba. I found it under communication --> group pages.
I dunno whether i want to go back to school tommorow lei. No one pei me...so sad. If i go, i just want someone to do work together with me ba... Haiz, if i ask Alphonsus, he sure dun want de... Then my friends have lessons... Hmm, see how ba... I really wish to go to school though, cos i'll be super bored at home. Just the 4 walls staring at me, and so many temptations... I can't do my work!
Current feeling now: thinking too much*