sweet innocence//alone*

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as i walk alone in the cold rain,
my mind drifted away to the past.
to what we used to be
to the secrets we used to share.
how i wish you were here with me,
sharing the umbrella
in this lonely yet cold night.
whispering sweet nothings in my ear
i miss you so much.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Hey! I'm back! Many of you might of thought i've gone hiatus. Hahas. Sorry, i know its been past one month since i last updated =x. Been busy and can't find time to update. I've got a new colleague! Its non other than my poly classmate cum friend, Lixin! Wahaha, i pulled her into this job lah. Cos she was looking for admin job, then i thought, this job would be quite suitable for her. I know i'm at a disadvantage cos my dad would compare me with her again. Before she came, i was compared with Meiyee, the other staff working there for about 3 years+ when i first joined. My dad had high expectations on me. He expected me to know how to do the stuff there without teaching me. As what he always said, "use eye and see, use brain to think" (in chinese). Sad... I'm expected to know everything and anything...plus, i must do everything and anything correct on the first try, if not second, else, i'm scolded, and mind you, its for something i don't know and i haven't done before! As for Lixin, i could see the different treatment between her and i. Let me give an example. She was taught every single thing from basics and she was reminded time and again the important things she is supposed to do by my dad so that she would not make any mistakes, plus she was told nicely, once, twice, thrice... Good right? For me, i was just thrown a document and i'm supposed to know what to do, when i just started working... I didn't dare to even ask, cos if i ask i would definetely get scolded. And if i did wrongly, confirm get scolded, mind you, that's for the first time i'm doing! How would i know what is the right way of doing it?!!! And its not only this, there are other cases. I shan't list them, the list would go on and on... Yes, i'm jealous...this really isn't fair... Why are other people always treated nicer than your own family people??? I didn't blame my friend for this, but life isn't fair...even your own family members don't want to help you. I have learnt to take this in stride. Its no use dwelling on it. I shall cherish myself even more~

Who knows, one day if i'm gone, no one would come to cherish me~ =x

Forget it...i'm used to this already...perhaps people treat me like shit... What to do, i know i'm pint sized, tiny, looked down upon. I'm resented to fate. I just have to know that i believe in myself, and have trust in myself. I shan't be bothered about what other people comment about me. It isn't worth listening to their comments and then be so upset about it. Why should i care?

Orientation week ahead. Wednesday - QET Test, Thursday - Engineering Freshmen Orientation cum Computer Engineering Orientation, Friday - Freshmen Day. Stupid, so many freshmen orientation, repeated x3! What the...waste my time! Bleahs. Sighs~ my course seems to have more guys enrolling. I would be very very very shy~ gosh. You know, there isn't any topic to talk to a guy! To put it simply, no common topics, plus they are very @#$%^. Aha, i don't know how to describe. Perhaps childish is the word? But, those in Uni should be older than me since they have served army already... Gosh, there comes another concern! The age difference! Argh...whatever, i die die won't talk to guys, unless they come approach me =p. Talking about guys, some of you would be thinking that this might be a good time to look for a bf right -.-"? Please, please, spare me... I think i wouldn't have time for this... Studies come first. If i were working, work come first... Aha, i know, if this were to go on, i wouldn't find anyone i like? Who says? There is, is just that the person doesn't know, or maybe does not have any feeling for me. Just yesterday, I gave Lixin a hint that i got feeling for someone, then she start guessing again -.-". She got the answer, but i didn't tell her lah, i just tell her to stop guessing =p. If not, people will start gossiping again -.-". I'm the kind who wait for Anyway, i think that guy has a gf le...aha, too handsome liao...hahas.

Btw, anyone have any idea how to prepare for QET test? Huiping, any ideas? I've got a feeling we have to pen a composition...-.-". I tell you, i'm going to die for sure if that's the case. Aha.

Caught Superband live at IMM today! But, disappointing lah, i see more heads -.-". I was standing behind, no place le, and too many people were crowding infront. J3 and mi lu bin have many supporters wor~ Luv those 2 bands. J3 has beautiful vocals. Mi Lu Bin, pattern alot! Aha... Just saw the 3 groups, then last group which is Soul, i have no interest in, so i just walked away...

Been revising A Maths these days. I'm getting the jitters... Engineering Mathematics...gosh... Maths again...-.-".

7/29/2006 07:03:00 PM
alone* in the rain;