Dear Diary,
Thanks Alan for accompanying me and giving me advices last night. I think he watched too much drama and he suggested something to deal with my parents, or should i say my dad that is very common in dramas. Here's an excerpt of of what he said:
[Ah Tu]天使說：不要為結束而哭泣， sent 30/12/2008 12:51 AM:
next thing you should do is go to ur fd's house
[Ah Tu]天使說：不要為結束而哭泣， sent 30/12/2008 12:51 AM:
or reletive house
[Ah Tu]天使說：不要為結束而哭泣， sent 30/12/2008 12:54 AM:
tell you something
[Ah Tu]天使說：不要為結束而哭泣， sent 30/12/2008 12:54 AM:
your parents only have u as their daughter
[Ah Tu]天使說：不要為結束而哭泣， sent 30/12/2008 12:54 AM:
apparently you have no clue abt ur parents' thought
[Ah Tu]天使說：不要為結束而哭泣， sent 30/12/2008 12:54 AM:
and i dun think they will wanna have another baby
[Ah Tu]天使說：不要為結束而哭泣， sent 30/12/2008 12:55 AM:
so they basically putting everything on u
[Ah Tu]天使說：不要為結束而哭泣， sent 30/12/2008 12:55 AM:
it is a war between you and ur parents
[Ah Tu]天使說：不要為結束而哭泣， sent 30/12/2008 12:55 AM:
a war in the name of freedom
[Ah Tu]天使說：不要為結束而哭泣， sent 30/12/2008 12:56 AM:
this is not centry to be good girl/boy
[Ah Tu]天使說：不要為結束而哭泣， sent 30/12/2008 12:57 AM:
so throw away that whatever parents say is right away
[Ah Tu]天使說：不要為結束而哭泣， sent 30/12/2008 12:57 AM:
that is stupid
[Ah Tu]天使說：不要為結束而哭泣， sent 30/12/2008 12:57 AM:
so throw that good girl image away
[Ah Tu]天使說：不要為結束而哭泣， sent 30/12/2008 12:58 AM:
it only shows how childish and immature u are
[Ah Tu]天使說：不要為結束而哭泣， sent 30/12/2008 12:59 AM:
we asked u to fight back all the way, but we nvr ask u to confront ur dad. 硬碰硬you sure lose
[Ah Tu]天使說：不要為結束而哭泣， sent 30/12/2008 12:59 AM:
because ur dad controls all ur finance
[Ah Tu]天使說：不要為結束而哭泣， sent 30/12/2008 1:00 AM:
get it?
[Ah Tu]天使說：不要為結束而哭泣， sent 30/12/2008 1:00 AM:
now, to win the war, u must know ur enemy
[Ah Tu]天使說：不要為結束而哭泣， sent 30/12/2008 1:01 AM:
in this case, you need to know what's ur dad's bottom line
[Ah Tu]天使說：不要為結束而哭泣， sent 30/12/2008 1:01 AM:
you said ur dad told u he doesn't want u as his daughter?
[Ah Tu]天使說：不要為結束而哭泣， sent 30/12/2008 1:01 AM:
bullshit la
[Ah Tu]天使說：不要為結束而哭泣， sent 30/12/2008 1:02 AM:
u try to hide in ur fd's house for 2 days, u will see your pic pasting all over the place in mrt and ur parents crying on tv looking for u
[Ah Tu]天使說：不要為結束而哭泣， sent 30/12/2008 1:04 AM:
believe it or not, even it sounds dramatic, it works damn well
Doesn't it sound like one of the plots from those dramas? And, it even reminds me of Tw news. More dramatic than ever. LOL. He says it works cos he tried before =X.
That aside. Torn in between the fact between being a good girl or not to be. Does it matter? Cos being good or not, in my parents' eyes, or should i say my dad, i'm always NO GOOD. Other people, no matter how bad they are, are ALWAYS GOOD. Rubbish right, nvm, i'm immune to this already. It doesn't matter what i do. Even my own parents look down on me. "Pam, how long are you gonna let people bully you? When are you going to show that you must not be bullied and should not be bullied?!" As long as i look up to myself, i don't care how other people look at me. Does a good friend tell you that being a good girl is stupid? I don't know. Not that i doubt Alan and he is not my good friend or what, but i find it wierd.
I ever mentioned before i have 2 best friends, now i don't think they are fit to have that best friend title. Have they changed or what? Best friends don't leave you in the lurch and not care about you at all. I just experienced being left in the lurch and they didn't bother me at all. Good/Best friends don't lie. Good/Best friends don't tease you. Good/Best friends give you advices and want the best for you. After 3 years of friendship, all these are gone... All people are the same, when they need you, they look for you. When they do not need you, they treat you like shit. Hate this feeling. When will i ever find someone who will treat you truthfully and tell you everything? Or at least, not dump you at one corner? Perhaps, some people after reading this, will try very hard not to fulfill this, so that they will not be my good or best friend. And will try all ways and means irritating me. I don't know. Alan once told me that no one wants to tease me and make fun of me or bully me and if they make fun of me, is just jokingly. No problem if its just jokingly. But if it is repeated time and again, will you like it? Put yourself in my shoes and feel how i feel... Like the $ joke and drawing a line between rich and poor. I feel this is a sensitive issue. I didn't flaunt or say that i'm rich or what, but everytime there's a implication. And no one would fend for me. So if you were me, and people do this to you everytime when there's a chance to, will you like it?
我很烦. Take me away to neverland.
